Winter Blues

Winter blues have well and truly settled into our household. It started with my husband being unwell and followed with the rest of the family. Zach, Aaliyah and myself got sick first then Aisha. It always worries me when Aisha gets sick as she doesnt bounce back as well as her brother or sister and usually ends up in hospital. Thankfully the antibiotics seem to be working for her. Today I managed to get extra hugs and kisses from both the girls and Aisha stood unassisted for a few minutes, so even acheived another milestone. Thankfully she is on the road to recovery.

Personally I am on my second round of antibiotics and feel that they just aren't working. I still feel sick and every morning wake up hoping today will be the day I start to feel better! I look after my body as much as I can because it is important being a mother, wife, friend and running a charity full time. If I'm not well then everything else falls behind.

Our eldest child Zach is turning 4 in a few days and as his birthday approaches I tend to think about Yasminah more and being sick hasn't helped my over all well being. I am a big sook when I am sick and really want to crawl into a ball and do nothing, but 'nothing' isn't an option when you are a me. There hasn't been a lot of cooking or cleaning or anything happening and it is starting to take it's toll. I wish there was a fairy who could come and cook, clean and look after me so I can get better. After expressing this wish to a friend today I had to have a little giggle when she offered to come help me out and even slip into a fairy costume to make me feel better. Every one needs friends like this and for a moment it lifted my mood.

It makes me sad that we don't have Yasminah here to share her brother's birthday with us. That instead we will visit her grave. It makes me sad that people think we should be over her and we should move on. Our lives have moved on, we can stop that from happening but she is a part of our family, a part of me and I miss her. I just miss her :(

Please forgive me if I don't reply to your email or message straight away. It's nothing personal I am just feeling the winter blues and life, grief and the pain sometimes becomes overwhelming.